Stephen King strikes again with another transportation-themed horror film starring the ever blown-out Emilio Estevez. All of the hair, none of the crazy. Seriously, what is it with King and vehicles? Was he molested by the meatman back in his early years? I'm getting a totally 13-year old vibe from this movie. I don't think it's the Transformers playdate, or even the complete lack of tact. Okay, maybe it's the lack of tact. A field full of dead kids and shit jokes? Where am I? Oh yes, in a land full of comet-powered machines led by a Master Clown Semi and set to a bitchin' AC/DC soundtrack. That's right, they did the whoo
ooole soundtrack. So at least you know the music is good. There are also the other inexplicable but totally palpable elements like random rocket launchers and the fact that everyone seems to be named Bubba. And what about the power of the chest bump? Has it reached to the vast ends of the Intelligent Universe? It seems sort of like King, who both wrote and directed this beauty [did I forget to mention that? awesome, right?!! this is actually the only movie King ever directed], just gave up by the end 
of the film. I mean, text conclusion? Really? Not too surprising I guess, since this managed to go from a $10 to a $20 million budget when they had to pay out to the Director of Photography who lost an eye on set. That's right, he lost his eye! His money maker! And the most horrific part is that it's almost ironic! Okay, it's totally ironic. In a movie about machines going crazy and killing people, the DoP lost an eye when a remote-controlled lawn mower went crazy and hacked shit up. Back away from the big black cauldron Stephen King! Stop praying to the Dark Side to keep your books hitting the shelves every 6 months! There are other things in life! Whewf. What else....Oh yeah! Yeardley Smith 
is in this movie! Be warned though: once you start hearing the voice of Lisa Simpson, there's no going back. Also, the quotes are great."This machine just called me an asshole!"
"I'll tell you one thing - you sure make love like a hero."
"The whole goddamn world's goin' tits up!"
"Don't you understand! You can't do this! We made you!" Yes. I'm sure we'll be telling that to the robots when they eat our brains.
Final Judgment: "I'm not sure what happened in Stephen King's playroom, but I like
it!/Bring on the trucks, gore and big-hair rock!/Save me Cindiana!/Let's rocket launcher those alien assholes back to Hell!!!
