No Escape (1994)

This is one of those VHS tapes that sits on your shelves for year, waiting for the exact night when it is called upon. What is it that finally brings it to your attention? Why now? And why did it sit in obscurity for so long? Well, for one reason, it looks like some sort of island warfare, 'Lord of the Flies' pic. But the summary tells a different story - a story of futuristic battles, space prisons, and Ray Liotta playing an epic hero. Lo and behold, it is all of those things. It is set in the future. And there is a space prison. But for some completely unknown reason, the warden of the space prison actually likes to drop his feistiest prisoners off on an abandoned tropical island where they can fight it out amongst themselves. If I personally had to choose between life in a cement space prison versus life on a tropical island, I think I know which way I would lean, even if I did have to smack a few heads to crawl up the prison hierarchy. But I digress. The point is, most of the movie takes place on an island. And it's an island with warring factions - the ever classic good versus evil, cannibal versus farmers, religious folk versus primitive savages. So get ready for decapitations juxtaposed against inspiring speeches, stabbing people with their own bones versus building a new technological society out of the bounty of nature. That sort of stuff. And Ray Liotta right in the middle of it. Well Ray Liotta, Lance Henrikson, and Ernie Hudson. Man, I love Ernie Hudson. And let's not forget Stuart Wilson, who also makes an appearance in one of the director's later films (The Mask of Zorro), and who was clearly hired for his masterful work in TMNT III.

All in all, it's a good thing there are so many cool dudes in this movie, because there are no women. Like literally, not a single woman is in this movie. Talk about failing the Bechdel test. What's a tropical island without a bikini or two?

Well there aren't any juicy coconuts in this flick, but here are a couple other juicy tidbits for you. A) It's from the same producer as Aliens and The Terminator, B) It was billed as a mix between Mad Max and The Fortress, and C) It spawned a comic book series published by Marvel - does that make this one of those Marvel movies? They should remake it with all CGI, too many characters, and bad jokes, and rake in a billion dollars.

Also, it has a pretty high-bar director at the helm: Martin Campbell. This is the same genius mind that brought us Vertical Limit, The Mask of Zorro, GoldenEye and Casino Royale (2006) and the masterpiece that is Green Lantern (lolzzz), among others. Altogether, not a bad showing.

In the end, I think we can let some of the photos tell us the real story. Let's be honest: why haven't you already seen this movie?

Final Judgement: A confusing hodgepodge of some of your favorite genres/A quintessential tale of men killing each other/Leather is all the rage in the future/Why is Ray Liotta in this again?