Final Destination (2000)

Apparently I'm not alone in thinking that this movie is an amazingly quintessential teen thriller. I mean, if you're only going to see one movie with fake teenagers, crappy music and slasher deaths made between 1995 and 2000, this is it. You've got to give them credit for using John Denver and the images of a bunch of dead famous people like they were actually trying to make a point or something; does that even happen anymore? The film brings a new meaning to the value of absurdity with a grace that not even Michael Bay has been able to capture (take that douchebag). And they manage to keep the tension high with a choreographed dance of prolonged and sudden deaths (always dramatic and disgusting) that keeps you guessing. Seann William Scott plays his classic fool with Ali Larter as the hot chick and Devon Sawa as....Devon Sawa (does he really need to be anything else? It's hilarious to me how well he's grown into ugliness). To top off the creepiness factor, the film is actually based on real plane crash where tons of teenagers died. Yikes. And the best part of all?: the script was written to be an X-Files episode by the obviously awesome James Wong (The One, Dragonball Evolution), but was actually discarded and transferred over to become a single mass of teen orgasm that grossed a respectable $70 million world-wide. And all that on a wisely-spent budget of $23 million that clearly went into the special effects category. I'm cool with that.

Final Judgment: "Why spend cash on the actors when you can pay them in weed and bad chinese food?/The Supernatural Ourobouros strikes again!/Anxiously absurd and brilliantly transparent = the perfect teen slasher for our generation!