John Doe (2002-2003)

Due to an intriguingly dry streak with regards to movie inhalation (blast you Battlestar!), I have decided to expand my post to that fateful arena of death also known as television (mostly because I've been watching a shit-load of it lately...and no, I'm not being brainwashed by commercials). There is a remarkable amount of underrated 90's-00's sci-fi tele and I've found imbibing it to be quite pleasurable. Hence, for my first post on these incredibly influential, meaningful and lasting-memory-forming episodic creations, I have chosen a series that only made it one fateful season, albeit highly entertaining, watchable, and interesting (and any other adjectival monument you'd like to choose) : the fateful John Doe. Starring a particularly hairless Dominic Purcell (now in Prison Break), along with a Whistler wannabe named Digger (played by Meatloaf in the pilot), some white chicks and a black dude, John Doe is a merge between the X-Files, Law and Order, and Dark Angel (substitute in any man-made advanced intelligence, bionic-oriented, freaky past, cult, sci-fi television) with a touch of violence and a lot of cold hard facts. Basically, Purcell is this dude who wakes up on an island with complete amnesia but with a brain stock-piled with any objective knowledge available to human beings and a serious amount of cash in his bank account (not to mention he can easily predict the stock market, win any trivia competition or just think people out of their money). Granted, this makes him pretty paranoid and just a little awkward with the homos (sapiens of course). But, over time, you grow to love said John Doe; with his big puppy eyes and his complete lack of understanding about himself but also with a genuine desire to help other people that eventually leads him to working with the police while simultaneously attempting to uncover the clues that may tell him who he is and where he came from. Ahhhh. There's a lot of blood and corpses, a high-ranking conspiracy and even some biogenetic engineering. Unfortunately, due to it's poor, poor, poor, poor placement in the Fox time schedule (right after Firefly, also a new show, also cancelled [even before the first season was over! I barely can even remember promo for those shows. What a waste!], also totally fucking awesome [oh Joss....]), we never even get to figure out the big mystery! The writers actually had to reveal it in an interview after the fact! And let me tell you, I was way off. Why, oh why, did they have to cancel such an enjoyable show? And for what? The Amazing Fuck-tard Race? Whew. Now that I've let out the rage, I am free to say, John Doe ROX! No, but really; good plots, good mysteries, good action, intelligence as a virtue, good conspiracy, good scenery (set in Seattle!); overall, just good. My advice, pick up the season. Or download it. Or watch most of it on hulu. Or buy it a garage sale or something. There are only 22 episodes, so you can definitely do that in a weekend. Or watch them every once in a while and drag it out for a month (also a beneficial way to appreciate the finer arts of long-term productions). That's the beauty of television: only 45 minutes per episode, so you can watch them when there's no time for a movie; on the other hand, there is ultimately more media, so you can watch it for a lot longer than a movie (pllus, you have to love those completely artificial photo-call images they stick on the fracking box). Win, win, win!

I deem it: "Udderly Irresistable"