Ladyhawke (1985)

Ho, do I not quiver with pleasure after engaging in such a bless-ed event as the partaking of this film? Nay, do I not blather like a simpering fool in imitation of Sir Broderick himself?

-'Are you flesh or are you spirit?'
-'I am sorrow.'

So cute! What a romance! That's love for you! No curse from the depth of hell, not even species separation can keep these two lovers apart. And no, I'm not talking about Turner and Hooch. Instead, Matthew Broderick (as the Mouse), Michelle Pfeiffer (she's had her animal moments) and Rutger Hauer star in this (mostly) tastefully done period piece set in 13th Century France. The costumes look fierce, the sets are convincing (yay for [theoretically] on-location!); even the horses are on their best behavior. And who doesn't like a good sword fight set to the Alan Parson's Project? Throw in some dark magic, a few tacky transmogrification scenes, an evil bishop and some sweet animals (hawks and horses! wolves and weirdos!) and set the stew a-boiling! And I'm not just on one of my crazy rants here; this movie was nominated for 2 Academy Awards (does that make you feel better about it?)! I wasn't lying about the simpering fool part though. Broderick is especially scrawny in this movie (oh, how sad it is when he takes his shirt off), and he hams it up by having a pathetically pageboy haircut and crying at every interlude possible (we're not talking about scary, 'I'm in danger' sort of stuff either; it's the love scenes that get him teary) and then he goes around holding hands with old men. But then again, it's even more absurd when Matty-boy talks about his fantasies for Ladyhawke herself. Yikes. Good thing Hauer's around to actually be a man. In summation, this refreshingly realistic, religiously-inclined Medieval romance-action-fantasy is pretty dang sweet.

Final Verdict: "A numble-munching good time."