Masterminds (1997)

Well, those who know me know that I'm always down for a little family-friendly action-adventure. That's exactly where this puppy sits. I've actually been looking for this film for a while; I guess I saw it on TV or something and knew that it was genius. I never had any memory of the cast or title; I just knew that it had to do with kids one-upping adults. Lo and behold, a trip through the extra discounted rack at Rasputin put me face to face with this squeeze and shake beauty, and I didn't even have to think about it twice before I knew I was looking at my long lost love. It's no wonder I thought this film was awesome the first time I saw it: A nerdy hacker named Ozzie squares off against the always shiny and not-too-scary villain that is Patrick Stewart. If Home Alone and Die Hard had a secret love child in the nineties, I think you can call off the hunt: this baby is found! The movie is pretty legit, with ATVs and landmines and pranks galore. You can barely even tell that it's Canadian! Yes, my filthy friends, this movie was produced by a Canadian company and proud of it. I don't know if that explains the recorded earning of only a million dollars: perhaps there's a secret internet movie database up north. There could be a whole lot of secret things up there now that I think about it. Has anyone you know actually been to Northern Canada? Don't discount Stargate; and imagine the possibilities!

Final Judgment: "Soaked in nineties, slithering in pop culture and sickeningly awesome!/Forget man vs. machine, this is pure kooky adolescent vs. condescending adult, and with a girly and defiant boy-nerd at the helm we all know who's going to win (right?)!/Don't bash the child protagonists!/The underdog pulls through once again!