Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Big Hit (1998)

There is a fallaciously fine line between comedy and action, and when a movie finds that sweet sweet spot, they hit you in a way that brings a vibrant flush to the cheeks. And then some. Of course, Lou Diamond Phillips' asscheeks in a vibrant flush can always provide the bare necessities. And then some!

Here is a movie that is hilarious, and yet oh-so-gruesome. Marky Mark, Christina Applegate and LDP star in this fun-for-the-whole-family (at least those over 13...wait 17?) killer-for-hire, kidnapping, scandal, and video home system masterpiece. With outrageously amiable action scenes including breakdance fights in cut-off capris, rolling down stair bannisters, bungee jump explosions into a pool, grenades, a VHS store fight-out (my dreams do come true!), and vehicular tree-slaughter, all set to the incredible soundtrack of Molotov, Save Ferris and more.  Genius, I tell you, genius! And don't forget romantic.

With lines like: "Girl you so fine I want to pour milk on you and make you part of my complete breakfast"

"You got a number for me?
-Yeah 911
"Damn lesbian,"

how can you not melt? If not the words, then the sexy turkey stuffing scene will definitely get your engine revving.

Sequins and iridescence greet you in the most blissfully dated outfits of all time. Oh yes, and
somehow "King Kong: The Legend Reborn" plays an important casting role in this movie.

Ah, the 90's.

I deem it: "The G spot of 90's action comedies!/Romp and rollick through a better time!/Marky Mark strikes again!/They just don't make 'em like they used to....