Monday, December 19, 2016

River's Edge (1986)

Hailed as a disturbing exercise in teenage apathy, River's Edge was both controversial and original when it came out in 1986. With an absolutely all-star cast of Dennis Hopper, Keanu Reeves, and Crispin Glover, this film is one of those that seems unimportant when you first watch it, and then continues to dig its way into your skull like a little worm easing its way into the center of an apple. And now it sticks to my soul. The entire film focuses on deep indifference, long before eyes were glued to screens and college kids could walk their way across campus to their next class without ever looking up from snapchat. In 99 minutes of increasing uneasiness, there are literally dozens of noteworthy quotes. But if I could sum up the movie in a single line, it would definitely be the beauty delivered during that unforgettable classroom scene:

"Wasting pigs is radical man!"

It probably doesn't help my conscience that this movie is based on a real-life murder in Milpitas, California, and partially inspired by youth in Sacramento. Too close to home. Too many gutter punks. I will say, the combination of Keanu and Crispin all punked out, and Dennis Hopper playing drugged out saxophone while wooing a blow-up doll, was a somewhat enlightening experience. I will now proceed to list a series of the best quotes, with a separate section just for ones about getting stoned.

"Maybe I am a killer. Why should you care? You just stay around here to fuck my mother and eat her food....Mother fucker food eater."

"Go get your nunchucks and your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun."

"I ate so much pussy those days, my beard looked like a glazed donut. 
- Is that when you lost your leg?"

"You didn't have to call me a stupid bitch."

"I'm nobody's were all mistakes anyway. I'm going to leave you all like your father."
--Stoner Section
"Sometimes I think it'd be a lot easier being dead. 
- Ah that's bullshit. you couldn't get stoned anymore."

"So now we get married right? 
- No, let's get stoned instead."

"You respect an adult? I really do need to get stoned."

"Someone could murder you you know. Or the Russians could send over a whole batch of nuclear bombs. 
-We should just get the Russians stoned."

Final judgement: This is a parent's worst fucking nightmare/"I feel like someone dipped me in used cooking oil."