Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Rocketeer (1991)

Man, talk about a classic (at least, a 90's family action classic...). It may just be another Disney film, but that doesn't stop it from also having a) serious Connelly Cleavage b) semi-automatic weapons c) Nazis d) simulated torture e) wise-cracking Feds and f) plenty of murder AND murderously good wise-cracks. Disney maintains the clear-cut good vs. evil battles that somehow make violence "ok," mostly by casting Bill Campbell and his 90's, high school jock, parted down the middle, long to the ears but shaved in the back hair-cut (a shimmering vision of a long-running trend soon to sweep the country), and having him fight the always dastardly Nazis. The best part (other than Timothy Dalton in tights [wait, he got another movie gig?]) is most definitely the German propaganda film, created for the movie, that shows a poignant plot to send rocketeers out into the world, across the Pacific and to DC where many American flags will be burned. AHHHHHH!!!!! Campbell could care less about the Nazis though. For him it's all about the pussy. An age-old quest for the poontang leads the protagonist through a series of explosions, bar-fights and, of course, acts of rocketeering genius, all while maintaining that sexy and playful, heretofore mentioned, all-together epic hair-cut. Throw in Jan from The Office as a lounge singer (she actually sings!) and a man known to his friends as "The Mountain," and you've got awesome action with family-sized morals (that's so you can feel good about the world).
In short,
I deem it: "A movie to get to stoned and watch, and to only tell your friends about when they're drunk; and/or 'you know, for the kids!'"

1 comment:

crucialfixer said...

um correct me if i'm wrong...but doesn't he fill the rocket with liquor? Also, I think he has a hole in his tank and patches it with gum.

Also the diner in the shape of a dog is not exactly the fortress of solitude but its fun to see a roketeer fly out of a giant dog's ass.