Saturday, November 8, 2008

Black Knight (2001)

Ha. I thought this movie was highlarious! According to some of the comments I've read, I may be alone in my outrageous assessment. But I ask you: how can film with a premise built around sending Martin Lawrence back into the Middle Ages where he can proceed to embarrass himself, the studio, black people, and anyone who can speak the English language (I swear, half of that movie was just sputtering) while learning valuable life lessons about standing up for what you believe in and not having sex with someone with the lights off unless you're sure you know who it is, and stuff like that, not be totally and utterly balderdashidly hysterical? The answer is: it can't! The stereotypes abound in this classically ignorant misinterpretation of like ten million things. Epic lines such as:

"Jamal: Do you have a thong?
Victoria: Excuse me?
Jamal: Never mind. We'll just take an old pair of drawers and cut the ass out."
"Man, I have a cousin who would wear a man hole round his neck if he could find a chain big enough"
"Ask not what your fiefdom can do for you but what you can do for your fiefdom!"

are pretty much an exact summary of the absurdity of entertainment cinema in the 21st century United States, and I, for one, view it as a task worthy of praise. And you have to give credit to Lawrence, who, playing a character named Skywalker, managed to spend approximately half an hour (movie minutes) in the Medieval ages, including an audience with the King, before realizing that he was in fact, not in the NYC slums anymore (it was holding a human head that finally lead him to ask some questions [although, to be fair, everything did look pretty fake...]). His other accomplishments include a drive-through rabbit slaughter house, new wide-stitch track suits for the modern peasant and the reinvigoration of a fallen hero (not like that, sicko). With a $50 million budget and only a $33 million gross, the best thing about this movie?: the last 30 seconds when Lawrence gets catapulted back back into the past, only to run from danger like a teenage boy from showering, with a final, graceful freeze frame (always the symbol of high-class work), in a desperate attempt to set the scene for a never-gonna-happen sequel that could have potentially shoved some spare change in Lawrence's pocket after his Big Momma's House cash-cow stopped paying up. Oh wait, I remember the best part (the weirdo in me of course)! It's where Skywalker has to prove his dancing skills so he gets all these bizarre bards and heralds to belt out some bass lines on their buisines and everybody gets into this funk groove and dances around. Yeah for (almost) world music!

Final Judgment: "Who cares what you're laughing at as long as you're laughing?"

P.S. Too bad Martin Lawrence doesn't look as awesome as this dude!:

No comments: