Monday, March 16, 2009

Unspeakable (2002)

This unreleased movie, stars the impeccably glorious Dennis Hopper with a shiny appearance by Lance Henriksen (why do I like him again?) and Jeff Fahey (am I the only one who watched The Lawnmower Man?). Oh yeah; and it's got that topless chick from Starship Troopers in it (as I scan her imdb credits, I am more and more impressed; and who wouldn't be with titles like Dragonheart and Johnny Mnemonic coming up?). Truth be told, this movie is pretty fucking epic. And I mean that in the, "I can't believe this exists and that I watched it (but I'll probably watch it again)" sense of the word. In true Tesla fashion, I'm going to flat out list all of the craziness in an eccentric attempt to grasp a the big picture of this frenetic film. goes: Wrongly executed Mexicans, brains falling out, a machine that can let two people share visual images of their dreams and imaginings, some sort of supernatural mind control, Dennis Hopper ripping his own face off, maggots in the brain, bizarro science and questionable physics, horrific creatures, psychopaths and regrettable abortions. How do all of those things go together you ask? Pretty strangely. It's sort of like this supernatural, religious, creature-feature, horror, action-thriller. But I guess since this clearly-a-plastic-surgeon-in-LA character wrote, produced and starred in the film, he thought this was his one shot and promptly blew his load all over every genre typically attributed to superficial macho types who for some reason don't want tits in their movies. That would be my guess at least. Spencer seems to think that the only reason Dennis Hopper did the film is in exchange for a little "work" if you know what I mean, and I incline to agree. I mean, there was only a $2 million budget for this shebang. And there were some pretty serious sets, props and actors for that much. They even had a helicopter! Makes you think, huh? All in all, the whole event was pretty confusing. And, for some reason, I'm pretty cool with that. I guess confusing is a refreshing perspective when you scan the Rasputin stacks and every fucking VHS cover says something about a cop or a government agent and the Mob or the Russians or some fucking shit. I get it already! I can't even bring myself to buy Jean-Claude movies anymore because I own all the good ones and all the other ones have the same flipping summary on the back and stylized mullet on the front. Lordy, lordy.

Final Judgment: "I'm pretty sure Dennis Hopper didn't even bother with a script in this one/For most people, the title pretty much says it all!"

My favorite quotes:

"Even Jesus Christ himself would come down off the cross to juice this guy!"

This one's from a fellow commenter:

"There was an exchange of dialogue near the end of the film between Henrickson and Meyer.
H: "You were really fascinated by him weren't you?" M: "Yeah, grotesquely fascinated. I probably could have studied him for years." H : "Yeah, but at what cost to your psyche?"

That's really what 'Unspeakable' is all about. Yeah, you could watch it. But at what cost to your psyche?"

Fair enough my friend, fair enough.

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