Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Death Race (2008)

Well, despite the fact that this movie is süber-new, I thought that given it's innate Tesla-attracting properties (it's beyond absurd for most people; and a box-office flop!) I should go ahead and give it a post. Although, based on my extremely brief piece of research, I definitely watched the wrong Death Race. Yes, Statham is hot and gigantic and the current king of thoughtless action. But David Carradine and Stallone? Now that's a team. This one actually managed to incur a higher rating on imdb than the original, but seeing as how Dark Knight is in the Top 5, I think it's obvious that the scale is skewed. And now for the good news: This movie is bizarrelly unbelievable that it just may blow your mind! I mean, is this why people mock science fiction? Just because something is set in the future doesn't mean it has to be ridiculous! The girls were ridiculous. Female inmates that are so scorching your eyebrows will disappear before you have time to take a breath (At least they made one of the giant black dudes totally and unabashedly gay: one more reason for the loser homophobe Jesus-lovers to stay away [not like that, dude! that's a sin! notice how it's always the sex and never the violence that's a problem? what's up with that!? {man, I totally hope I've offended that wrong?}])?! Or what about the power-up thing? What is this, a video game??! So basically, it's a smash-up of The Running Man, Cannonball Run and Rollerball. You've got these crazy inmates racing to the death in the vain hope that they'll be released from prison. But really, they're pulling people into prison just so they can get them on the track. Armored cars and some sort of jailbird chop-shop (like they would ever have access to those kinds of weapons...); and then there's the race. You don't get offensive or defensive weapons until you drive over a lit circle with a sword or shield in it (it's uh me! Jason!), and then you can blow the shit out of people! That's mostly what happens the whole time; he just beats the shit out of people. But that's cool I guess. It's not like I was expecting anything else. Big explosions, gruesome deaths, hating against the system, etc. Yes indeed, you have to appreciate a movie that tells no lies. And, as it's directed by one of the greatest bad sci-fi directors of all time, Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, AVP, Mortal Kombat, and Event Horizon...oh shit, and a new Castlevania pic?!), there should be no doubt

Final Judgment: "Bad sci-fi is like a fine wine: it needs at least 10 years to age before you can truly appreciate it!/Jason Statham strikes again, heroically securing his place in the absurd science fiction annals, a category which some people (ah-hum) enjoy entirely too much...

P.s. I was unable to find any pictures of Jason Statham with animals, so I recommend just watching the trailer/awesome intro instead. The official page is a little complicated for me, but feel free to have a go at it!

No comments: