Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Due to the vacations of January (yes, I did many awesome things), I have not posted on many a fine film. However, it has also come to my attention that several of these features are quite prominent and recognized, and don't necessarily warrant their own post. So, I have decided to compress them all into one glorious post of goodness. Behold:

Se7en (1995) - One of the early Fincher masterpieces (no, I'm not counting Alien^3), this movie is pretty revered in the horror/thriller/grossness category and for good reason. I'm actually quite happy that I re-watched this classic (on laser disc no less! Yay for graininess!), mostly because I'd never realized how absolutely excellent some of the shots are. In fact, it reminded me a lot of what I would attempt to accomplish in one of my own films (double yay for construction equipment, wide shots and crazy wires!), if I were so lucky and/or awesome.

The Real McCoy (1993) - Oh man, another movie of questionable morals (has anyone seen The Brave One? That shit is fucked up!). I thought this flick would be awash in hotness, but unfortunately, Kim Basinger had to do all of the work. Who would have envisioned a fall from hotness so great as that of Val Kilmer? I mean, where were all those futurists when you need them? Dayum, he's ugly in this movie. That's about all I remember. Oh, and they stole things and shit.

Hook (1991) - Yes, Spielberg has received altogether too much credit in his lifetime. On the other hand, some of his movies are totally life-changing. For me, this is one of those films. Even disregarding my complete disgust with the idea of adulthood and unfounded obsession with pirates, this movie has seriously touched my feeble little life. And I don't care if it defies physics or looks like an elaborate Disney ride! I'm just amazed to see so many spectacular sets and costumes and props!; now-a-days this movie wouldn't even be happening in real life (CGI-fest!). And Rufio is so cocky/hot even though he gets the shortest end of the stick!!! Don't forget Bob Hoskins! He always knows how to pick 'em!

Back to the Future Part II (1989) - Talk about a movie with awesome sets, costumes and props! This one is totally radd!! I don't even care that they just recycled future cars from other sci-fi flicks; I'm totally green yo! I'm just glad they had future cars. That's one of my basic sci-fi requirements: if they couldn't take the time to envision new styles and transportation systems in the future, it's a no go. The creepiest thing about this movie (besides the fact that Michael J. Fox spans 3 generations and both sexes...?) is the realization that they filmed both Part II and Part III at exactly the same time, sometimes even on the same day! Talk about a money saver! I'm just glad Zemeckis is a multi-tasker....

Cobra (1986) - This movie is slightly obscure, but the ageless plot of Stallone killing people swept it over into this "seen it!" category. In fact, the only thing better than Stallone's character name (Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti) is the catchphrase: "Crime is the disease. Meet the Cure." Man oh man. Well there are plenty of people who sit around in their rooms thinking of nothing more than how awesome this film is, so I direct you their way. All in all: A Stallone Standard.

Bachelor Party (1984) - I guess they don't make 'em like they used to! And by that I mean: filled with tits and pussy (why don't they show the foot long?), crazy dance moves, crassness and lewdness, and the requisite sexism! One of Tom Hanks' earliest movies, and definitely among his best (Do the Alligator!). It also stars that dude who plays Kent in Real Genius, an asshole to the end. And don't forget the bestiality! Pretty much totally ridiculous and offensive, in a good way!

Final Judgment: "What does this say about me as a person?/Ahh movies!"

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